All I have is a candle and a pocket knife, no one will ever know ... that I'm gone.
"Move!" yells a voice. I look back but all I see is headlights. I pick up the candle and knife and head toward the looming forest in front of me. A gust of wind blasts behind me, a shiver runs up my spine as the flame flickered and went out
"there's no going back now" I say under my breath.
First of all when someone is talking you need to put it on a different line. Also, you don't need '...' You could just us a comma and that would make it flow better. When you said 'move yells a voice' you should put a period there and then start a new sentence. Great start though!
ReplyDeleteGood story but I get confused at the start because there were head lights and I thought you were in a car.
ReplyDeletei aggre i get a little confuesd to. but good story
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what is going on in the story. Why are you gone? You need a capital in between " and there. Also you need a then in between and and went.
ReplyDeleteI understand Your story, it has a lot of good suspension, I like how you used the word looming instead of shadow. In some places there are some capitols and periods needed, and the way you use the prompt is a worded kinda weirdly, though other than that, great story!
ReplyDeletei dont understand your story. you need to explain more where you are.
ReplyDelete