Mom...mommy. What . "I'm so board" I say. "Then use your imagination" my
mom reply's. Ima-gination? "No Matthew imagination its like being in your own world close your
eyes and try it." "Okay" I say. I close my eyes. It's been 5 minutes and nothing but darkness. WAIT!!
ahhhhhhhhh thump... Ugh am I dead. Are those angels singing or is it that ringing in my ears. Yep the ringing ugh I guess I'm not dead. Hmm maybe Ill just go up that hill that looks oddly like a cupcake. Oh howdy stranger. "Hi" I say. You just lookin at the view .Yeah sure I guess. lets see what we have here hmm a waterfall made of chocolate ohh a marshmallow castle oh well I guess It's time to stop imagining now... Mom can we go now sure Matthew we can go now.
Its a very creative story! It is although over a hundred words, so that is a problem, I can think of a few things that are not necessary. You do need some grammar corrections too. In all very creative story! its funny to!
ReplyDeletenice story it has too many words but its good
ReplyDeletebored is spelled like this.After you start saying 1 minute of darkness you need a come and so on.After you ask your mom can we go now you need a comma. couple of other grammer mistakes you need to check. Your story is very creative.
ReplyDelete