Thursday, 25 February 2016

100WC Week 8 by my name is JEFF

"Mommy can we get ice cream at the gas station ?" Your annoying brother asks.  "Why the gas station ?" mom asks, "because it's the best" you inquire.  "First lets leave the swimming pool" mom replies, we get into our humiliating green minivan and drive past the gas station because your mom forgot about your sisters dance competition and she goes on about how she's a good dancer and how she is likely to win when you know the dance thing was yesterday.
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5 comments:

  1. Unknown25 February 2016 at 18:40

    Haha! It very funny! You can really relate to the person telling the story, your forgetful mom,a me your sister who likes to brag! Though I think there could be some more powerful language in your story, asplos I think you need some commas here and there. In all I think it was a great way to use this weeks prompt!

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  2. Unknown25 February 2016 at 22:10

    Lol its very funny and creative to have a first person view of the story. Remember a new line every time a new person talks.

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  3. Unknown27 February 2016 at 13:23

    Be sure to use the feedback given to you by your peers as there are some other good suggestions to help improve your writing. It is also helpful to read your story out loud to a peer or an adult as you will pick up on sentences that need some revision. Spend the time editing and revising especially the dialogue parts.

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  4. Unknown27 February 2016 at 14:54

    Your story is really funny good languege

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  5. Unknown25 January 2017 at 10:56

    You are a stupid piece of ass hole you are a mistake

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