The Lottery
"I need to get some gas and check if I won the Lottery," my mom told me.
"Okay," I replied.
We get to the gas station, get our gas, then we go to check the lottery tickets. Congratulations your the lucky winner, the T.V read. I look at my mom, she was shocked to see that we won the sixty-million dollars! The next week, we get a call from the bank telling us my grandma hasn't payed her taxes in over two decades! So we payed the taxes and all sixty-million dollars was down the drain.
"Okay," I replied.
We get to the gas station, get our gas, then we go to check the lottery tickets. Congratulations your the lucky winner, the T.V read. I look at my mom, she was shocked to see that we won the sixty-million dollars! The next week, we get a call from the bank telling us my grandma hasn't payed her taxes in over two decades! So we payed the taxes and all sixty-million dollars was down the drain.
I think you could just work on adding more descriptive language and I really like how your story ends.
ReplyDeleteYour story is really funny I like the ending.
ReplyDeleteIt's a funny story with a fun twist! Though your use of words get's kinda hard to read in the middle. Overall it's a very creative story!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part will have to be the ending. My head was blank exept for 1 word... lel. I think you should still work on the tv read parrt it confused me a bit.
ReplyDeleteA different take for this weeks creative story. Very original. Be sure to use the feedback that your peers have given you to help improve your writing. I agree more descriptive words could be used especially for this sentence " We get to the gas station, get our gas, then we go to check the lottery tickets." Well done paying attention to your punctuation and grammar.
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